PResENT mISssss !!!!

The one thing I despise the most is cleaning my shelf.  Puff of smoke that emulates when their habitat is disturbed and the sickening smell of rotten bugs give me a sickening feel.  I was standing before my age old wardrobe that never lost its sheen despite its cacophonous music at its hinges. Left with a Hobson’s choice, I was prepared for my battle. A small white cloth across my face making me a perfect cast for age old Jayshankar movies. At the recess of my book point, a small book glimmered despite laden by a continuous layer of dust.  At closer examination, the crest embedded on its cover lay majestically. The emblem of my school and it was my school diary with a simple motto- LIFE AND LIGHT. The sight of my school souvenir brought back my numb senses alive and soon I was flickering through the muddy pages of my diary.

                The pages had more remarks in red than my scribbled handwriting. Words like ‘Mid Term, Quarterly Half yearly exams, Report cards’ echoed my nightmares of my school days, which I badly missed now. Before I could linger my thoughts in that, I stumbled onto the page that brought back my wombs of my memory lane. It was the timetable of my 5th grade starting from Monday to Friday. A smile spread across my face, when I thought about the mornings after our brief vacation.  

                “The moment that I loathe the most is Monday morning! My bed sheet is over me wrapped like a cocoon while I try to gaze at the beautiful designs which appear like stars in a cloudless sky. The cries of my mom asking me to get ready while the hot water steams in the geyser.  

                 Impeccably dressed in a white and navy blue uniform with my hair neatly groomed and a perfectly drawn viboodhi on my forehead. I was sitting in my usual place near Subramaniam, who always stood first in my class. Toppers were seated next to mediocre students in order to help them, so that’s how I earned my spot. I never fell in the list of top 20 or the list of last 10, but in a group that is good for nothing. The  group that always needed a beating to push on.  

                To make matters worse, it was our first after our holidays that too it started on a Monday morning. Most of the students were silent owing to the fact that, we are likely to receive our answer papers of the Quarterly exams. I was mumbling my prayers while my friends let out a silent laughter making a mockery. Two friends of mine were prying near the door’s entrance trying to catch the glimpse of horror.

                Our Science Miss was never a horror but the big bundle of papers with twines entangled definitely wasn’t a pleasing sight. The two guys came running inside shouting, “papers!!! Miss has papers!!!”   

                The word papers made me sit upright, bringing my prayers to a sudden halt. Her strides were long and swift in reaching the dais. Once the bundle was laid in the table, she turned to face us with her traditional smile. “Students, this time my correction has been very lenient and I have awarded marks quite liberally. So I don’t want anyone standing near me begging for some more marks. Do I make myself clear?” I know this was a usual dialogue that every teacher iterates every now and then. She was no exception and joined every other in shouting “Yessss Misss!!!”

                She began calling out our roll nos. to distribute the papers and to my horror the papers weren’t in order. Whenever a roll no. slipped from her lips, my heart came to my mouth. Within couple of minutes, I knew I had to take a leak with my contents of my stomach doing all acrobatics. All the drama came to an end when my turn came and my marks hanging in thin air- 71 !!!

                I was tad disappointed that I couldn’t make it above 75, but still my mood wasn’t sober. By now Subramanian was eying my marks.

“You made 71! (With his eyes all set to bulge out from his sockets!) Good! I made only 86! If at all she awarded full marks for my long answer, I would ve touched 90 !!”

                I was looking for a perfect reply for Subramanian and I found one, “I don’t think she's mean, she has given full marks to me for that long answer! The diagram of yours doesn’t come close to a round bottom flask; it’s more of an elongated test tube”  

                I know I ve added more fuel to his burning rage, he was fuming and staring at his so called round bottom flask,

                “She can’t do this to me, I m going to ask her about this” he shoved me aside, moving furiously with the answer paper clutched in his arms. “ Misss !!! Miss!! You haven’t given me full mar…..”

            That smile never died when my school events unfolded before my eyes. Dust and bugs too joined me in this nostalgia. I was prepared to continue this crusade with more allergenic storms for company, leaving me with my 3^rd grade report grade.

PS:

   Thank you all for joining me in my journey. If I was able to kindle your memoirs of your school days with a drop a tear ebbing your eyes, please share those etched moments.  

Beauty Queen

“This is a poem (hopefully it sounds like one, but it never follows the rules of a sonnet or ballad)of a girl who has been forced into prostitution by her mother. The girl depicts her horrific days and her menstrual cycle. I couldn’t resist myself from using the words ‘beauty queen & broken smile’- thank you- Maroon  It’s a shame to tag this as a tribute this to all women who trade their flesh, so it could be my *lullaby to you all”

*John-a slang refering to the customers who seek sexual pleasure in women

*lullaby- a soothing song to put a child to sleep

 *fille - french word for girl

This is my story,

a story devoid of fantasies,

but cloaked in robes of sorrow.

Story of unprecedented hatred

and confessions of a girl

Sitting in a lonely room

hugging my knees in desperation.

Staring the tulips across my window

a blanket of maroon petals, with their
heads down awaiting the dusk.

White linen barely covering

my feet; the finger nails manicured

with glossy pink to seduce punks

from neighborhood. A broken

smile basks my face fearing dusk

This is the story of

a beauty queen who is 17.

Memoirs of lost sleep and cut lip;
Mighty rewards from my voyeurs;
Story on this queen’s lost virginity.

Crooked under my princess bed,  

hiding and pleading my mom,

‘Not this time, mommy, No!!!’

Thunderous blow lands across

my face, leaving bruised cheek.

Bruises flag my face red, ceasing

the need to blush. But beads of blood

dot my skirt’s hem, marking

my menses. A much waited

vacation for this beauty queen.

This is a story of a girl

with a new identity- slut.

A new face with old scars,

A vacation with no *John’s thrusting,

but still this period hurts.

This excruciating pain pushes

myself into an oblivion, where

there are too many rainbows.
With my pain abating, I think
about my tomorrow as a whore.

In my low cut blouse and

cherry red lips to steal a glance.

Once again, I'm on roads

trying to find a John

who would hurt me less.

Seeds of attitude

If you could read this, then certainly the doomsday and Mayans calendar have been stuffed in trash cans. I m pretty much sure that either the Mayans misplaced their pencil to draft the calendar for 2013 or lost count after 3500! In either way, all the hype and unwanted chaos have ended in a sullen mood. But still the bad omen as predicted by Mayans left a scar in the faces of mankind by the ugly rape incident in Delhi. By now, every scum on the planet is ready to pour in their suggestions; on how the victim should have acted with six atrocious men or what was she doing with a guy at such late hours?

In the shoes of a feminist, there were protests rocking the nation on how to handle such sexual atrocities. Half the women in the country were ready to chop of men’s privates or send their heads to guillotine. On the flip side, many things go unnoticed either due to our ignorance or due to our attitude. Capital punishment or castrating an individual cannot put an end to all this dysfunctional behavior in men. A common misnomer, stringent punishments can eradicate social evil. Ironically it could damage the social fabric of a civilization.

I often feel that we were puppets dancing to the tunes of media and raise slogans due to the placebo administered by our society. During most occasions we fail to address issues which are quite unprecedented. The brutality experienced by the Tamil women in Sri Lanka was one such example to our malignant behavior. The war crimes of island nation went haywire in most western channels depicting the heinous crime of the century, but still no protests or candle marches were made condemning such intolerance.

 I felt ashamed that none of my politicians (or me!) had spines to march towards the Red Fort and raise their voices for greater good. This apathy of mine could be attributed towards all those who neglected the sisters and brothers of Sri Lanka. Having said all this, I was a mute spectator with a “teek hai” attitude. There’s a proverb ‘being penny wise and pound foolish’ which clearly applies to all of us. Let me narrate an incident which could substantiate my allegations.

“On a sunny day with people thronging in my area, my mom and I were busy negotiating a deal with a local vendor. The sun battered us, but still we were bargaining for ten odd minutes to save five rupees.  Finally, triumph and pride were basking my mom’s face, at the cost of saving 5 rupees and getting few rotten apples!!!”

Few weeks after that incident we purchased a SONY 40 inch LED TV at the cost of 55K, printed on the tag with no discounts or bargain. In another such occasion I was standing in a queue at a KFC outlet, waiting to swipe my plastic card for getting the wings of a chicken, not to forget the extra 14.5 % service tax. This is our attitude; we do things that catch attention or to trifle the society. The society that has taught us skills, to cajole acts pompously.  

Few days back when the government passed the bill allowing FDI (Foreign Direct Investments- except the expansion, I knew nothing about it!!!) in retail sector, there was a hue and cry from all merchants of our country. This move could be disastrous from the perspective of a common man, but still, we were not ready to shell out five bucks to my fellow countrymen (apple vendor). Despite that, we raise our voice to protect the interests of such commoner.

When Kasab, the notorious criminal was captured, we did nothing, but to watch the government spending more than crore rupees every day to keep him safe. No one knocked the residence of Ms.Sonia ji or Mr Prime Minister to question the death of 167 people. What shall we call this? Stupidity or did we misplace our senses? Every now and then sexual harassment continues in places which were once considered safe.

So far the country has executed 70 odd capital punishments, going by which we should have been a crime free country. The need lies in redemption of our existing human attitude. The systems of nuclear family and fables from our grannies have been scrapped. Our streets have more juveniles than piled garbage; wealth could be churned out from such garbage if counseling is appreciated, stressing the need for behavioral science.

By now you must thinking; the author has an aversion towards his country, in lieu with his latest developments.  I don’t want to add a blatant lie, by passing a comment “Proud to be Indian”. These thoughts could be an uprising in each one of us; why are we like this? Shall we not try to act consciously and speak from our heart? The question is out everywhere, but the answers lie within us. Man has evolved continuously sending back centuries, but the nature has remained the same. It never acquired the self fish attitude of ours, contrary it still served us selflessly with bright sunshine and blissful rainbows.

Margazhi madal

The massive open theatre was rocking to the foot stomping numbers of Lopez. The crowd was going crazy, when the elegant figure stood poised with her newly colored hair all set to dance to the tunes. I m a single drop in an ocean of fanatics, shouting and jumping to catch a glimpse of J Lo. She just parted her lips, to spell a curse “Waiting for tonight…” the alarm went off ending my beautiful opera, my sleep and her seductive curse.  I m not ready for this, waking up around 4.30 a.m. and getting ready to meet  Lord Srinivasa Perumal for Vaikunta Ekadasi.

I could see my dad moving with ebbing alacrity and mom dressed in her newly bought green sari. I knew I can’t look for an excuse to hide my head under the pillow. My brains were standing on its hind legs and begging for the dream to continue, but my heart said, “you’ll be stationed somewhere for the next Ekadasi”.  With my thoughts still lingering over J Lo, I was ready to pay my visit and get my ticket to heavens. After waging a lone battle, I was forced to pull up my socks.

The enchanting voice of MS Subulakshmi came floating in air, welcoming the devotees to Srinivasa Perumal Temple. The blue lights adoring the temple‘s Gopuram were a treat to our eyes. People thronged in serpent queues, which never seem to have an ending. My dad was happy to experience the agonizing wait, which lay across us. Not much was left for me, than to stand here with my arms crossed across my chest. There s always someone waiting to join our boat, like the girl in front of me, cursing her mother. She was in a white shirt and a skin fit denim jeans.

I didn’t t know that I was staring at her manicured finger nails, but my mom nudged me with her elbows. Oops !!! I was like a kid caught red handed while trying to steal a cookie. Still, she s my mom, smarter than me, she asked, “ Look at you, what’s that in your chin?? Can’t you come shaved?”

“ phew!! Goatee beard ma ! I haven’t come for an interview??”

“ stop your lame excuses! You gotta be disciplined while you come to temple.”

I pointed my finger to the girl standing in front of me,” then please enlighten her”

“stop pointing !!” she was grinding her teeth, furiously. My mom pulled me behind her, putting an end to the little drama.     

           

                Tiffs and argument continued as the queue progressed forward at snail’s pace. Hymns of Thirupavai were recited; cries of ‘Govinda! Govinda!” were heard, announcing the opening of Vaikunta Vassal.  The crowd went bizarre when the Lord’s procession entered the Vaikunta Vassal. Everyone tried to shove others, losing senses, to step into the corridor of Vaikuntam.  Vaikuntam Vassal had two Brahmin priests serving us with theertham and thulasi that tasted great to my parched throat.

                After a stunning visual treat of Lord Srinivasa along with Boodevi and Sri Devi dressed in lotus garlands,  a temple official gave us sweet pongal. Wow !! It was basked in ghee and fried cashews, teasing my taste buds. When I had a handful of it in my mouth, I knew, anyone could have made me believe that earth was flat.  I doubt, if heavens were far away, nope, I don’t think so, perhaps it was sliding down my throat now.

Christmas Carol

Apocalypse

 A fine morning with a clear sky painted in chromic blue and cool breeze rustling the leaves covering the pathway of the Thomas Street. It s winter and one can feel the temperatures nearing single digits. The street wore the perfect robe of snow in dusty white color with dried leaves making a perfect topping.  The street bore its name from the chapel that stood tall amid little houses. It was a suburb that left effluent spiting industries and housed pines and maples. Houses were built in traditional style with a beautiful lawn spread across to invite butterflies and crickets.

Such a serene location was home to a young boy named Sam aged 12. He lived with his mom, Barb in a hugely furnished house in the same locality. The boy, whose blonde hair covered his ears and occasionally his brows and loves to pull back the hair that, comes in front of him; he had a perfectly chiseled face with a prominent cheek bone and small lips. He does two things without complaining, one was playing with his pet dog, Snowy. The next was hearing stories from Annie, the girl who lived next door.

 He could just stare at her, while she said trivial things that took place around her.  Annie loved the way Sam watched her, with his mouth open and face resting on his palms. Sam and Annie spent the evenings in the woods, collecting pebbles and chasing flies; they returned home once the sun goes hiding. During the last couple of days, the suburb had gone wary and dull due to rumors of the apocalypse. Sam felt that the evenings were awry because of Annie’s absence. His stomach churned, when he heard the gossip of some women in his neighborhood.

Tears came running down his cheeks when they told how God has decided to end the world by sending a fiery ball of fire. Imagining the fire destroying his pet Snowy, Annie and everyone sent shivers down his spine. He was afraid to ask his mom about the growing rumors. Many in the neighborhood felt, they won’t be alive to celebrate Christmas. Even Sam’s mom felt it was stupid to get a Christmas tree, decorate with bells and welcome the end of the world. Barb thought it was better to stack supplies in case of any emergency.  Cans of meat, milk cartons and cereals were flooding her refrigerator.  

              

It was vacation time and Sam was sitting in the kitchen, fiddling the sandwich. Barb wore an apple green colored apron with patches of her culinary arts. She was peeling the potatoes when Sam opened his mouth to speak.

“Is that true?? “ mumbled Sam.

“What?” asked Barb

“Annie told me that we all gonna die soon” said Sam. He never wanted to know her mom that he was eaves dropping when they gossip.

After a brief hesitation, she said, “ No”

“Then why didn’t u buy the Christmas tree and stars? Annie stopped playing with me too.” Said Sam

“It isn’t like that, I got held up with the kitchen stuffs Sam” said Barb with sad eyes.

“Stop lying mom! You’re hiding something. They say my Snowy and we all will die” cried Sam.

Barb knew she can’t console him; she bit her lower lip and came towards Sam. “Complete your breakfast son, we can watch Tin Tin show “

“Screw your breakfast! I m going out now.” Said Sam, controlling his tears and temper. He ran outside towards the Chapel.

St. Thomas Chapel

                The Thomas Chapel was a solitary structure in the valley; it had been painted in white after restoration leaving behind little Italian renaissance. Its interior had been restored to the original shades by using vermilion clay for the reds and blue from indigo. Tall candle sticks adored the table inside the chapel; one can see the statue of St. Mary carved in pine log above the candle sticks. The crucifix was placed in the centre with urns painted to give a glossy finish. Services in the Chapel were held on a limited basis and regardless of one's religious leanings.

              Sam was sitting alone in the empty chair, head bowed down, knuckles tightly clenched. The massive doors of the chapel opened to let an old man inside. He had a drooping walk with gloves covering his hands. He was dressed shabbily and moved slowly towards the chairs. He sat near to Sam, leaving a sigh due to exhaustion. The old man’s heavy breathing annoyed Sam’s prayer. He saw Sam was crying with his mouth muttering a prayer.

              “ …. don’t like you, God. Snowy is a poor creature, how could you destroy him. At times he leaks in Aunt Rio’s place, I ll ask him not to do that again. If the world ends, many will die, even Annie too. We both will be good friends and I won’t shove her again in the mud. I swear I ll be a good boy and I ll hate you, if you’re sending a curse to our planet” said Sam.

              The old man beside Sam laughed mockingly and he put his arm around the boy’s shoulder. This sudden act scared him a little. Sam saw the old man’s face flashing kindness and warmth.

 “What’s troubling you son?” asked the old man

“My Snowy and Annie are gonna die! Becoz of the curse by him” Sam pointed towards the altar in the cathedral.

“oh ( half jokingly )!! Hmmmm !! How do you know that? asked the old man

.

“ I heard my neighbor’s gossip . Snowy is my pet dog and Annie is my best friend. I love to hear stories from her” said Sam

“Why do you think the world is going to end?” asked the old man

“Some say the calendar of the Mayans got ended, so everything has to wrap up. I m not sure, but I guess so” said Sam

“hmmm.. If that’s the case why does God spell a curse against us, sending cannon of fire??”asked the old man.

“Probably we’re not good people!!” Sam pouted

“Son, no one knows when the world is going to end and most importantly He doesn’t send curses to us” smiled the old man.

“Didn’t you hear about the global warming thing?? It’s His work, perhaps due to Nibiru coming towards us. “ said Sam

The old man laughed his heads out,” We always like to put the blame on someone, right? We fell into evil ways and succumbed to cheap pleasures. Never bothered to fell trees or and emit harmful gases. Now we find the perfect alibi for the God, Mr. Nebula”

“ oh!! You mean to say that we’re doing bad things, just like the gun shoot in Connecticut.” Said Sam

“hmmm !!! you got it right kiddo!!!” smiled the old man

“Perhaps He should punish the guilty, not everyone. What makes you say that world isn’t going to end?” asked Sam. By now, the lad was enjoying this companion.

“Okay! You remember Victoria (the teacher who hid the children from gunmen and died in the assault) right? This planet survives only because of them. Moreover the Lord believes in giving chances, rather than execution” beamed the old man.

“You gotta liking towards Him, aren’t u??” asked Sam.

The old man smiled and stroked the young boy’s hair, “Not exactly”.

“Then why do you come here? You are pretty tired and your dress isn’t nice too “ asked Sam

“I came … “ Before the old man could finish his sentence, the doors squeaked once again, this time it was the choir boys and girls dressed in turtle neck sweaters came rushing inside the Chapel.  

“Ouch!! Mom ll be looking for me, I gotta go Oldie! Bye”-Sam left the chapel running as if his life hinged on it. 

Christmas Carol

It was Christmas morning and Sam’s home have been flooding with peers and folks. Sam in his pajamas came walking slowly towards the living room. A huge Christmas tree decorated with stars and bells stood in the room. Everyone was busy looking for their gifts, showing least interest towards Sam. A small red box was found lying below the tree. To his surprise it was addressed to him. With creeping excitement, he tore open to find a small note.

“God is around us, like the green trees and the blue ocean. Don’t always look inside the walls of a church, sometimes He likes to change his appearance – it could be a note like this or an oldie. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year”

Companionship

“I m sitting in a bed with my back dropped and my head hanging down to stare at my empty palms. A pale blue linen barely covering my legs, I wonder how long I m like this.  The faint click of the clock’s needle could be heard distinctly due to the haunting silence that hangs in this room. The cot spits a squeaking sound when I tried to move. The room where my cot sits is nothing more than a void with walls trying to enclose.

The walls have a muddy wall paper that started cracking, indicating the need for a fresh paint. I lay there in my throne, chewing the leftovers in the plate. I missed to tell about the plate, the plate that is always full with things that I can barely much. The filing is always done by a woman in white. I don’t remember the last conversation with that woman, so no chance of me knowing her name.

What’s so important about the woman in white (WIW)? The bond between us is so tight, like the cloth she uses to fasten me to the cot. I don’t have the slightest idea why she does this? Probably my son would have advised her. Yes, my son who pays the WIW to clean my ass and keep me smelling like a new born.

My son never ditched me, perhaps moved me to a place where I could have more privacy. A place, where my daughter-in-law can’t complain about me. A void shared by me with plates, cot and the lone clock that hangs in the wall. I lay slumped, waiting for each day to roll by, without the slightest hint of what’s next in my kitty bag.

I m an old penny shelved in a chamber to be watched by visitors, which includes my son and grand children. Ouch!! My back hurts me, I have to lie down, please call WIW! “

The above speech belongs to a woman aged 72 living all alone in a room for 4 years. She can’t speak clearly due to Alzheimer’s – senile dementia. It affects memory, thinking, and behavior. In other words, the onset of childhood behavior when you days are numbered. The speech was reproduced without any modifications to portray the brutal reality and quest for seeking solace. Despite her son abandoning her, she hardly had any apathy towards him.

            She knew that she is alone waiting for her end, but still she gave me a smile when I consoled her not to worry. Before leaving I asked her, “What shall I get for you?” she replied, “Spend some time with me, son” Now, I had the answer for her quest – companionship!! 

cHIt ChaT- SwEthA n PherOmoNes !!!

Sidharth : hey punk ! How is it going?

Vikram: Ya! Doing good mate!

Sidharth: Is something eating you? You don’t look good!

Vikram: Nah! I was wondering about the fragrance I felt, when that gal crossed me.  Doesn’t ring a bell, dude!

Sidharth: Phew ! I don t even remember the name of my body spray!

Vikram: Not a big deal man!  It all boils down to pheromones! A chemical that is secreted in our body, which triggers the opposite sex!

Sidharth: Stop this bullshit!

Vikram: This isn’t bullshit. Each one has a distinct pheromone (smell) which is secreted by our body.

Sidharth: Agreed! But when I hugged Swetha, I felt only her Blue lady fragrance.

Vikram: Shit man! When did this happen?

Sidharth: Explain the former, so that you can comment on the latter!!!

Vikram: Okie! This is how it goes. Due to evolution, most women have lost the ability to secrete such natural pheromones. That’s why we have these perfumes in the market.

Sidharth: Oh! But the rest still have it in them. Right?

Vikram: Ya they do ! On the other hand, you were so dumb to recognize it in Swetha J J

Sidharth : This could be the perfect reason, I guess !

Vikram: hehehe !!! When we enjoy things, we never question about it, perhaps our cognizance vanishes (boom!!!)

Sidharth: Just how, I felt when I watched ‘Life of PI’

Vikram: WTF!! Didn’t we plan it today night?

Sidharth: Dude, I promised to take her out, so I had to machi.. L L sorry da..

Vikram: This is ridiculous man! That reminds me the other thing, the hug!!! When was that?

Sidharth: Last week, I dropped her in her home. She asked me to join her for a cup of coffee.

Vikram: So you joined her, for a hug too!  

Sidharth: ya ! (With a big smile) She started it, what am I to do?

Vikram: I know about you! You are a schmuck!!! Your boss always talks about pro activeness, this is a perfect example.

Sidharth: Stop pulling my legs! Probably I gotta be pro active too!

Vikram: There are two things. First, girls love guys like you, so don’t change.

Sidharth: Next?

Vikram: Pro activeness, OMG !! sathiyama adu unaku varadhu.. hehehe !!!!

Sidharth: Screw u, asshole!!  

Vikram: Dude, u gotta wrap things pretty soon. It s time to break the ice.

Sidharth: What do u mean by that??Me getting married??

Vikram: ya man! Talk to her folks!

Sidharth: U know something, when I last met her dad, he gave me a lecture on how to dress. He really pisses me, man!!

Vikram: lol J

Sidharth: Don laugh. He hates my goatee beard and expects me to solve Hindu-Crossword puzzles. Shit !

Vikram: Probably he should have seen your leave lettersJ J

Sidharth: Nejama da… u remember, how I filed a report with the word ‘borrow’ instead of ‘lent’

Vikram:  ya..  Your boss threw the file at your face, right?

Sidharth: Not exactly, but something close to that...

Vikram: So what now? Gonna solve crossword???

Sidharth: poda dai.. What shal I do ?? Help me out da L L

Vikram: Gottit man !!! Its Pink Sugar !!  

Sidharth: What??

Vikram: The perfume of the gal, who crossed me J J

Sidharth : Phew !! Don’t you give a damn what’s happening here??? M moving out...

Vikram: Convey my regards to your in laws dude!!!

( Sidharth balled his fists leaving alone his middle finger to point at me !! )